I recently noticed that I had a comment (about 5 years ago) on one of the blogs I started (about 17 years ago). It was from someone named Kim and went like this, “Where are the rest of the questions and your answers to the rest of step one? You stopped at question 3?”
Firstly, as I’ve said before, I’m a great procastinator. Secondly, “Helloooo, McFlyyyy…I’m an addict”. Thirdly, I’ll be 59 in nine days, and I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD or AADD or whatever it is. I don’t remember what exactly the doctor said because I wasn’t paying full attention. It was something along the lines of me having an attention deficit. Lastly, this was begun on a whim at a time when I was living in a new state, with a young child, a lousy husband, and no friends outside of NA, and thank God for them.
Back when I was in school autism and attention deficit disorders weren’t a widely understood, or even commonly discussed thing. When I became an adult I could never get a doctor to listen to me before in regard to getting anything to help me focus because I am, admittedly, an addict. I mean, I didn’t even consider that I may be on the spectrum or have one of these attention deficit disorders until I was in my thirties, and it wasn’t until after I got clean that I tried to get a diagnosis.
It took me over twenty years to get a doctor to listen to me. I guess they just thought I was looking for legal avenues to get speed. I gotta’ tell you though, these methamphetamines really do a wonderful job of allowing me to focus, but you must take them as prescribed. I do not recommend creative self dosing.
I am currently in school for IT (no agist comments from the peanut gallery, please), and I have never in my life been able to study and retain material at this level. If only I had been diagnosed earlier in life, maybe I never would have fallen into addiction in the first place.
Just doing the little bit of blogging I did about my step work was very difficult and time consuming. I don’t know if I will ever finish putting the step work in here, but I may. Only time will tell. However, what I do or do not do, should in no way effect what you do with your recovery. Don’t stop working your steps because I stopped providing you crib sheet material. Do your best. Be honest, especially with yourself, and above all…KEEP COMING BACK! Because it really will work if you work it, but you have to be ready, and you have to want it. Everynones’ recovery is their own.
By Christine C (me)
Anonymous Cafe 